Fucking Fear.

What is the biggest thing that holds us back from following our heart and doing what we feel? Fear. Fear of failing, fear of looking foolish, fear of others' opinions. Most of the time, the fears that hold us back are not life-threatening, yet they still hold us back. We are so concerned with what might go wrong or what others will think of us that we hold back on a lot of actions. We spend more time in our heads, rationalizing and analyzing than doing the things that we truly want.

Before I continue with this blog, consider this question:

What do you really want?

Not what others want from you or what you think you "should" do. What do you really want?

Knowing what you want can start with small things. And as you focus on the little things you want in each in your life, they become big things, goals, passions. Knowing what you want starts with an awareness of your life experiences. After every experience, ask yourself if it brought you happiness, ignited an inner spark or provided you with new insight or information. If it did, then make it something that you want or would like to create more of in your life. And if it didn't, then learn from the experience and let it go. Move on.

The more we experience, the more we learn and the more we define what it is that we want. (or what brings us happiness, we all want to do what makes up happy right?)  Conscious Experience not only exposes us to the things that add to our list of things that we want, but it also pushes us past our limits. We learn that we are more capable and powerful than we previously thought.

Usually we have an idea of the kinds of things we might like to try. Yet we never actually pursue them because we are not sure. Well let me tell you something: you won't know what you like for sure until you actually experience it! And this is where facing fear comes into place.

We are so fearful of "what might happen" but really, our fears are just fears. The things we fear rarely happen.

Over the past few years I have developed the "so what" philosophy. Saying "so what?" is a way of challenging our fears and showing ourselves that it is never as bad as we think it is. Here are the "so whats" I tell myself in the face of fear. Beside each question you will find a response/affirmation of what will actually happen in each case.

1 So what if I fail or make a mistake?  I will learn and know what to do better next time. There is nothing bad about making a mistake. The most successful people are not afraid of failing.

2 So what if I look foolish? What I look like is not important. This is my life and doing what makes me happy is the most important thing. The people who support me aren't concerned with appearances.

3 So what if other people judge me? Yes, there will be people who don't see what you see, who don't understand you. But then again, there are people who do, and support you in following your passion. Who cares about the others!

So this is my proposition to you. Face your fears and take risks. Experience life with awareness and as you define your wants and sources of happiness. Find people who support you on your journey and let go of the people who don't. And learn- there is more to gain than lose. 

Blessings,

Julie