Thursday, 31 July 2014

The D Word., okay, it's not what you might have thought. But it's better.

In this post at least, D stands for discipline- the toolbox of resources and practices that allow us to be the most focused and strongest version of ourselves.

When we master self care, we master our freedom. Our happiness is not dependent on others or our circumstances. Wherever we are, we use the habits of self care.

"Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out." 

Regular practices such as yoga, running and meditation have served me greatly. I highly recommend all three! And yes, it takes discipline to do these consistently. Believe me, I don't always feel like going to the gym at first, but always feel better after.

The motivation? To feel good. Being disciplined is about self love and self respect. When we are consistently active, asking for help when we need it, feeding ourselves wholesome meals, engaging in satisfying work, we are telling ourselves that we are worthy of happiness.

Discipline is something we want to do, because we love ourselves and know that we deserve to be happy.
There is an abundance of resources available to all of us, we have everything we need and all the answers lie within- it is simply our choice to be open to this abundance.

And are we ever!

Discipline is about talking to ourselves and treating ourselves the way we would talk to someone we love. It's an act of self love really.

Our focus is on showing up and trying. I truly believe that success and greatness has little to do with perfection and more to do with having the courage to show up, be real and do the things that make us feel good. It's the journey where each day we take a step, even when times are uncertain. We let people know where we're at and we ask our friends to hold us accountable for staying on track. These people encourage with love and support our doing what makes us happy.

I've realized that the longer we live, the better we know ourselves. We develop a toolbox of resources- self care practices, we adopt a mindset of abundance, we choose love over scarcity and fear, we focus on gratitude, we learn what we need and we learn to ask for it.

So the word discipline for me is a nourishing one. It's habit, its self-love and it's abundance. It's strength, freedom and focus.  It's sexy and powerful.

Danielle LaPorte is a shining women I look up to- here's what she has to say about discipline. I could not agree more.

"Can discipline feel joyful? Yes!
So how do you know when you’re stifling yourself with structure vs. nurtur-ing, or setting yourself free, with structure? 
You know because it feels good to do it, and it leads to more good feelings."


Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Is it Okay to be Angry? simple answer is hell yes! We have many stories about how anger should be expressed- what ends up happening is that we often keep our opinions, anger and resentment so pent up that it comes out in the extreme.

The natural flow of life demands that we move with it.

Anger is a healthy human emotion that is meant to be expressed. When we can listen to our anger as it comes up, it will actually act in our favor.  Its there to tell us something about what we're going through.

Maybe we are settling in work that doesn't support our growth and vision, or in a relationship where we don't feel free. When we act out of fear, holding onto something- but not what we really want- we end up feeling resentful, stuck and yes, angry.

As Danielle LaPorte- a woman I very much respect- says, "if the journey towards your vision doesn't feel good, STOP". Sometimes we need to put short term plans in place during transition periods. But even these demand limits.

Anger also happens to be a part of the grieving process. We all go through grief at some point in our lives. When we are letting go of someone or something we have lost, our experience of grief will include anger. Its so important to express what we are feeling as a way to let go, release and create space for new beginnings.

Noticing our anger and where we feel it in our bodies is the first step. The ability to feel means that we are alive! Physical activity (in all forms) is a great way to release. When we sweat, we are cleansed in so many ways. Writing and dance are also great ways to express. Telling people how we feel is also important. 

When we allow ourselves to experience our truth, we become clear. We move past fear and take off the the mask. We may write a letter to an ex for closure or quit work that is soul sucking. We may ask for a higher position within a company or set a boundary to create more personal time.

Standing up for ourselves means we won`t be resentful. 

So really, confronting our anger is healthy. It may be messy at first, but the truth is that anger is a part of the human experience and when we listen to it as it comes up and express it, it will show us what we are fed up with so we can let go and make changes. 

Maybe its time to change.


Thursday, 17 July 2014

Losing a Job: What I Learned haven't blogged in a while and I must admit, I miss it. I've been writing a bit for myself, but doing just this- sharing authentically, is what brings me fulfillment.

Why? Because we connect over what makes us human. Through both the great times and the tough times. What an interesting past few months its been- I spent beautiful time again in California in May, but when I came back, felt I was coming back to a routine. I knew something was missing- I was starting to feel bored and the sense that I want more adventure, excitement and growth.

Well you know how they say that being let go of a job can be a blessing in disguise? Well it certainly may not feel like it in the moment, but now I realize it's true.

I had the opportunity to be a part of the opening team of a restaurant. I learned about marketing to increase sales and how great food is made. But I also learned that sometimes things happen that we never expect. Well, until they happen.

After putting my heart into my work at this business, seeing things change literally every day, including people getting fired at a rate that seemed too frequent, I started wondering. I asked questions and tried to confirm that my position was stable.

I realized that management didn't engage in much feedback with their staff. A lot of the time, threatening and hostile behavior was used to improve staff performance. Many of us agreed that this just created unnecessary stress.

And after all that? Well, my friend and I were next. I was shocked when I lost my job- after investing energy and trust into the business, I felt betrayed. How the hell could this happen, this is ridiculous!

I spent much time replaying what happened in my head and feeling disgusted by how I was treated, but then realized that at the end of the day, we can't control what happens, but we can control how we react to it.

So I've taken what I've learned and am moving forward. I think this whole situation has urged me to cultivate more faith and trust in myself. I don't fully feel it yet, but I am stronger and wiser. And I'm starting to really support the idea of having multiple income streams!

And you know what they say about things falling apart so that better things can fall together? Well, it's true. Sometimes it takes patience, but tough times have made me have greater faith, realizing that while a certain job, situation or person may bring us much fulfillment and happiness, sometimes things end to create space for what is more in line with what we really need and want.

What I've also learned? That we have a choice: love or fear.

We can choose to live in the scarcity mindset that there isn't enough, or we can choose to see that there is abundance and opportunity. In times of uncertainty we can choose to worry about things that have a 99.9% chance of never happening, or we can choose to love ourselves, claim our self worth and find the source of powerful love within.

Because there is enough, we have enough and most importantly, we are enough. 

We are more than a job or a relationship. And it is because of who we are- beings of pure love- that we continue to attract what it is we need most.

Until soon,