How Do You See Things? (The Power of Perspective)

The way we feel is a direct reflection of the perspective we have- about ourselves, others, the world and everything in it.

If we are focusing on the negative things, we see the world with a negative eye, have expectations of things going badly in the future, see less of ourselves. This translates into feelings of inadequacy and lack of fulfillment.

Conversely, if we are seeing the beauty and positive things in life, that is what we are absorbing- literally. Our bodies thrive when our mind is in a good place. This way of viewing things is incredibly fulfilling and soul-satisfying. It feeds into a cycle that propels us to see further beauty. Of course, this perspective makes us happy.

Many of us can vouch for the fact that circumstances in life can make it more difficult to see beauty and light. I am not in any way downplaying the impact of  unexpected tough times. However, often and especially during these tough times, we get consumed by the struggle and forget about all the good stuff- even though its still there.

I realized this especially recently. When we are going through something, we can become so involved in it that seeing outside this experience is difficult. And only when we became at peace with ourselves after the storm passes, does it hit us that the positive things and people were always there, even during the tough time.

One way to remind ourselves of the goodness that is always in our lives it to practice gratitude. Each day I make an effort to remind myself of the positive people in my life who support me, my health, the opportunities I have- the list goes on. Whatever it is, from something as simple as the ability to be able to eat good food, drink fresh water and sleep in a warm bed to the job we have that allows us to travel, eat and do what we want- these are all things that when we can expand our awareness of them and see their positive impact on us each day, we feel more fulfilled. We gain perspective, which reminds us of all that we have no matter what we are going through.

Blessings,

Julie

Let Your Light Shine!

“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” -Marianne Williamson

The longer I live, the more I realize that to embrace who we truly are inside is the essence of freedom. Each of us has our own unique set of gifts and a light that is meant to shine. We are meant to nurture our passion and creativity and then share it with others. The ability to express fully and openly is incredibly freeing. 

With more time, we have more opportunity to experience and learn about who we are. And we have a choice: we can discover our true being and ignore it, or we can celebrate it. We can cage ourselves in the way we believe we "should" act rather than how we "feel" like acting or we can see our light and allow it to shine and reach other people. And in allowing our light to shine we free others and give them the space to do the same. 

Especially in today's world, it is so easy to feel that we need to be a certain way, do certain things. But this becomes a very heady situation, because we are left constantly looking outside ourselves for reassurance, we rationalize and convince ourselves that its okay to be less than who we truly are. Because it provides a sense of belonging and that is what we all want. We all want to feel accepted and loved. But what does this mean if we are not being accepted and loved for our truest selves? 

 And what I've learned, is that the way of the heart is the most liberating. I used to live mostly in my head. Before doing anything, I would analyze and rationalize. Soon enough, I learned that living like this is draining and limiting. 

Living from the heart means doing things because we feel like doing them, not because we think we should. It means being spontaneous and allowing our light to shine, realizing that in doing this, we become our most powerful selves. When we do this, we actually attract the people and situations that are most in alignment with our needs and desires.

Yes, it takes courage and facing fear. But we can learn to trust ourselves and see our inner spark.

Let your light shine,

Julie

Trusting Your Inner Compass

Sometimes we forget to trust ourselves. It's as simple as that. We somehow get caught in the thought that others know whats best for us. We think that because so-and-so has known us for a long time and been by our side, they must know what is right for us. And when we are at a crossroads when making a decision, it seems easier and logical to put our trust into these people. But in this very moment, we forget that while seeking for help and advice provides useful perspective, it is inside that all the answers lie. The final decision that best benefits us is one that we know in our hearts. 

"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."

– Christopher Columbus.

Trusting our inner compass means having the courage to experiment with it. Giving ourselves the permission to explore is freedom. For if we allow others to make our decisions, we end up feeling like a victim. Of course there are people who will say things that resonate with our inner intentions, but there will also be those who aren't aware of our needs. At the end of the day, we take all that we learn and apply that which feels right.

So it is best to walk the journey that is ours, with all of its bumps and turns. To try things, and learn about what makes us feel good and what doesn't. And as we experience more, we know more and have a greater inner understanding. Our inner world becomes rich with insight and our outer world becomes a reflection of this.   

I like to think of making good choices as a skill. And by "good choices", I mean ones that benefit our well-being. The more we can trust ourselves to make our own decisions, we build a wealth of inner knowledge and a sense of direction. And what many of us think of as a "wrong choice" is really an opportunity to learn and gain contrast by seeing what isn't in alignment with our desires. 

And as we experience more of what is in alignment with our desires, we build upon this and each choice is an opportunity to reflect on what we have learned so far to make decisions that will guide us further along our inner path of fulfillment.

Let your light shine,

Julie

Pave Your Own Road: Letting Go of the Opinions of Others

The older we get, the better we know ourselves. Ideally, the better we know ourselves we should rely less on the opinions of others when we make decisions. We should gain confidence with age.

However, when we are not following our true path of what feels right, being confident becomes a challenge. If we give in to what other people expect of us and live a life of pleasing others, how the hell can we expect to gain confidence? True confidence comes when we know ourselves and act with our true needs and desires. The better we can make decisions in alignment with what we really want, confidence flourishes. Because it just feels right. The need to seek reassurance lessens.

And even when we are following our hearts, it takes time for confidence t o build. We must really get to know ourselves, practice making many decisions and learn to trust ourselves along the way. It takes a whole lot of courage and perseverance to do what you want to do and not care what other people think. But I can tell you, that it is worth it.

If the direction in which we steer our boat is based upon the opinions of others, we become a victim of circumstance. But if we are the ones deciding, if we can steer our own boats, then we become creators. For at the end of the day, there is no perfect decision. What matters most is that we are making it.

So screw what other people think. Who cares what so-and-so thinks about what you are doing? What does it matter? I have realized that at the end of the day, the people who actually care about me will support me no matter what. And everyone else? Screw them! Screw the people who don't get it, who don't have anything positive to say.

"You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period."

- The Pursuit of Happyness

Blessings,

Julie

On the Journey of Self-Love (+ my story)

It is said that the perspective we have on others and the world is a reflection of how we see ourselves. If we accept ourselves fully for all that we are, and perhaps even love all that we are as well, we are much more likely to love the people around us. The opposite is also true- if we are critical and destructive towards ourselves, it isn't a surprise that we are more likely to become critical of others.

Building a relationship with ourselves is not an easy thing to do. But I'll tell you one thing- it will be much easier to build strong relationships with others and know what we want in relationships once we have learned to be our own best friend.

There were many times when I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. I have picked out every flaw and so-called imperfection. And I did this for a long time. Well, until I cracked.

 My own journey of self-love started three years ago when I struggled daily with the destructive cycle of emotional eating. I was on the verge of an eating disorder. I lived a life of trying to please everyone, trying to live up to certain standards that put unnecessary pressure on me during an already fragile point in my life.

From that point in my life I would have to learn to see myself differently because the way I saw things was destroying my body, mind and spirit. The beginning of any journey is always the hardest. We must let go of preconceived notions and surrender. Often we reach a breaking point where something needs to change. And often, at this point, we need to lay down our pride and ask for help.

After facing many challenges along my own journey, I can say that the struggle has been worth it. I am now in a much better place and even though it took a breakdown to make me realize that the way I was living my life three years ago was more suffocating than anything, I am grateful for all of it.

Especially today, we must learn to love ourselves, inside and out. Self-love is a tool that will improve our relationships with others and our general success in life. Expecting perfection is bound to cause exhaustion and maybe even a breakdown if we don't take a moment to be kind to ourselves and to strive for balance instead.

Every journey has its ups and downs and the journey of self-love is no different. There will be times when we will feel like we are sliding back into old habits. This is part of the journey and we must remind ourselves of how far we have come. I have learned that mindfulness (being aware of the present moment) paired with self compassion, are the best tools to stay on track. 
For more info on mindfulness, please check out my article: http://breathingeverymoment.blogspot.ca/2012/09/what-is-mindfulness.html)

It is also important to surround ourselves with loving and accepting people. People who are supportive and will be there at every step of the journey.

Much love,

Julie

The Value of True Friendship: "Who are My Friends?"

Hey everyone! Before I continue with this post, I'd like to share a quote that I really like.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” 

- Walter Winchell

Certain people in our lives stay with us for a long time. And other people come into our lives for a relatively short period of time. Due to circumstances or whatever the case may be, the close friendship we once experienced is lost. Often happening unexpectedly and at a times when we in fact need friends by our side, it can be a difficult situation to deal with.

This is not to say that short friendships are not valuable- in fact, they can teach us a lot and leave a powerful mark on our life that greatly affects our future. Perhaps we even have an encounter with a stranger who changes our life forever- maybe not in the category of friendship, but certainly proof that quality is much more important than quantity.

However, for the sake of tough times, it is the people who stay by our side no matter what that we never forget. These people not only teach us a lot about friendship, but touch our hearts with their care and support. These are the people who accept us, in both our highs and lows in life. They see our true selves and love it, every step of the way. They help us stay strong when we feel like our world is falling apart and they encourage us on each step of our life journey.

Building a diverse social circle is important and enriching to anyone's life. It is valuable to connect with different people, who can each teach us something and help us to broaden our perspective. Having many friends is not a bad thing at all. 

However, it is practically impossible to have many close friends at the same time. True friendship requires effort. We must show the people we care about that they mean a lot to us, and we must do this often. It can actually become overwhelming and stressful to try to focus on the number of friends we have rather than the quality of each relationship. We want something that is meaningful, we want our friendships to mean something. 

Here is a quote by Kelly Osbourne:

"I say find one true friend to help you through the tough times."

Especially when times get tough, we cannot afford to spend time on fake friends- these relationships are exhausting and we should avoid them even when we do have the energy. Being selective and learning to set limits is a good thing!

Having one true friend during a difficult time, or at any time, is much more valuable than having many friends who are not understanding and supportive. The number of friends we have on Facebook or on our phones is not a representation of quality. Having one tight group of friends, or two or three true friends, or even one friend who truly understands and supports us is a representation of quality. 

Ill admit it. Sometimes I prefer to go see a movie alone, rather then spending time with people who bring me down. It's not worth it. Period. Sometimes I want to do something and a close friend is not able to join me. Why should we stop ourselves from doing what we want just because others aren't able to join us?

Recently I have realized the value of true friendship- having someone by my side through thick and thin. This is something to be grateful for. Notice the people who you truly feel close to in your life right now. These are people to cherish.

Much love,

Julie  

 

Feeling Your Pain, Expressing from Your Heart

 

Over the past few weeks, I haven't been as active with my writing as I usually am. My apologies for this delay. It has given me much-needed time to reflect and gather my thoughts.

I needed to center myself around important things that needed attention. And throughout this time I have learned a lot. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it. And I want to share it with you.

We have all had painful experiences, we all know loss in some way or another. Whether it is a breakup, divorce, loss of a job or friendship, loss is difficult to deal with. Its like a train that is approaching that you don't want to get on, but you know you have to get on in order to move past where you are to get to where you want to be.

I aim to be personal with my blogs, but I am going to try to be more open then I have ever been with my writing in this article because I know that more honesty allows for more understanding.

In the past few months, I have been faced with a few losses- some happened recently and others are older but have taken longer to deal with. And this is not to say that I haven't enjoyed many positive experiences recently- I certainly have. I am also traveling to Europe and the US in the next few weeks, something I have been meaning to do for a while.

But excitement and adventure cannot blind us from what is within us- even if it is painful. Any painful experience, such as loss, needs our attention. We must grieve and feel the emotion. Believe me, I know its hard. But this is not to say that we can't nurture ourselves in the process of grieving. We can be kind to ourselves and be open to help.

We can feel the pain and move with it too by expressing ourselves each day in the world, even with our vulnerability. We can take risks and be courageous in the face of vulnerability.
We can be honest and tell people how we really feel, even if we are not as put-together as we expect ourselves to be. In fact, I believe that true beauty is found in imperfection.

If we keep our emotions bottled up, it may look nice on the outside, but they will accumulate and eventually come out at some point. It is important to express what is inside. It is ok to not be ok. We develop into much more appreciative beings when we are able to embrace our pain as well as our happiness.

Keep in mind that crying is no sign of weakness- it is actually one of strength. The only way to reach our truest selves is to embrace each step of our inner journey, whatever it entails.

I spent some time indoors today while it snowed beautifully outside. I allowed myself to do nothing other than to be with myself. And I can tell you, its not easy.

We fear being with our own emotion more than most things. This is because it is unpredictable. How long will this last? What if it takes over my life? Keep in mind that these are all fears that become irrelevant when we are able to let go and embrace what is. By moving through the emotion without putting a deadline to when we think it should end, we are able to move past it.

Trust in yourself. Trust that you will move on. And most of all, trust in your strength to face what is.

With much love,

Julie