Why Breakups are Hard.

I think we can all agree that breakups are never easy. There is nothing easy about learning to let go of someone we love and care about. Even if there were a million things that didn't work in the relationship, breaking up means letting go of the good things and letting go of the person being an active part of our lives.

And this is hard.

Part of being human means that we have a heart and we feel. If we stop this, we stop the flow- we shut down our freedom and sense of aliveness. We are not present.

We can do everything to escape the emotion. Fill our schedules up to the top, giving ourselves no time to breathe and reflect. Being engaged, active and connected is important, but for the sake of balance, we all need time to rest and reflect.

We can hook up with other people in hopes that it will help us move on more quickly. We can temporarily rationalize away the feelings. But at the end of the day, we find ourselves more exhausted because we simply haven't given ourselves the permission to feel.

There is no easy or quick fix to healing from a loss of a relationship. We must allow ourselves to be human. To feel. To cry. To open our hearts to emotion, without judgement.

Even when it literally feels like our heart is aching against our chest as the tears come up.

So we say, let them come. 

We must allow ourselves to feel the pain, because believe it or not, it is through this journey that we open our hearts to experience joy, gratitude, compassion and love.

To simply cannot say "I'm only going to let myself feel the good stuff and ignore the uncomfortable and painful things". Emotion doesn't work that way. Because if we shut out one part of our emotion, we shut out the rest. Embracing all of who we are with compassion is how we open our world to possibility. It's how we grow.

Perhaps at the end of the day, its about being authentic. Having the courage to free ourselves to be who we are with compassion, love and with the vision to see that beyond our fears, all that lies in and around us is a limitless field of light and possibility.

Blessings,

Julie