Is it Okay to be Angry?

The simple answer is hell yes! We have many stories about how anger should be expressed- what ends up happening is that we often keep our opinions, anger and resentment so pent up that it comes out in the extreme.

The natural flow of life demands that we move with it.

Anger is a healthy human emotion that is meant to be expressed. When we can listen to our anger as it comes up, it will actually act in our favor.  Its there to tell us something about what we're going through.

Maybe we are settling in work that doesn't support our growth and vision, or in a relationship where we don't feel free. When we act out of fear, holding onto something- but not what we really want- we end up feeling resentful, stuck and yes, angry.

As Danielle LaPorte- a woman I very much respect- says, "if the journey towards your vision doesn't feel good, STOP". Sometimes we need to put short term plans in place during transition periods. But even these demand limits.

Anger also happens to be a part of the grieving process. We all go through grief at some point in our lives. When we are letting go of someone or something we have lost, our experience of grief will include anger. Its so important to express what we are feeling as a way to let go, release and create space for new beginnings.

Noticing our anger and where we feel it in our bodies is the first step. The ability to feel means that we are alive! Physical activity (in all forms) is a great way to release. When we sweat, we are cleansed in so many ways. Writing and dance are also great ways to express. Telling people how we feel is also important. 

When we allow ourselves to experience our truth, we become clear. We move past fear and take off the the mask. We may write a letter to an ex for closure or quit work that is soul sucking. We may ask for a higher position within a company or set a boundary to create more personal time.

Standing up for ourselves means we won`t be resentful. 

So really, confronting our anger is healthy. It may be messy at first, but the truth is that anger is a part of the human experience and when we listen to it as it comes up and express it, it will show us what we are fed up with so we can let go and make changes. 

Maybe its time to change.

Blessings,
Julie

Losing a Job: What I Learned

I haven't blogged in a while and I must admit, I miss it. I've been writing a bit for myself, but doing just this- sharing authentically, is what brings me fulfillment.

Why? Because we connect over what makes us human. Through both the great times and the tough times. What an interesting past few months its been- I spent beautiful time again in California in May, but when I came back, felt I was coming back to a routine. I knew something was missing- I was starting to feel bored and the sense that I want more adventure, excitement and growth.

Well you know how they say that being let go of a job can be a blessing in disguise? Well it certainly may not feel like it in the moment, but now I realize it's true.

I had the opportunity to be a part of the opening team of a restaurant. I learned about marketing to increase sales and how great food is made. But I also learned that sometimes things happen that we never expect. Well, until they happen.

After putting my heart into my work at this business, seeing things change literally every day, including people getting fired at a rate that seemed too frequent, I started wondering. I asked questions and tried to confirm that my position was stable.

I realized that management didn't engage in much feedback with their staff. A lot of the time, threatening and hostile behavior was used to improve staff performance. Many of us agreed that this just created unnecessary stress.

And after all that? Well, my friend and I were next. I was shocked when I lost my job- after investing energy and trust into the business, I felt betrayed. How the hell could this happen, this is ridiculous!

I spent much time replaying what happened in my head and feeling disgusted by how I was treated, but then realized that at the end of the day, we can't control what happens, but we can control how we react to it.

So I've taken what I've learned and am moving forward. I think this whole situation has urged me to cultivate more faith and trust in myself. I don't fully feel it yet, but I am stronger and wiser. And I'm starting to really support the idea of having multiple income streams!

And you know what they say about things falling apart so that better things can fall together? Well, it's true. Sometimes it takes patience, but tough times have made me have greater faith, realizing that while a certain job, situation or person may bring us much fulfillment and happiness, sometimes things end to create space for what is more in line with what we really need and want.

What I've also learned? That we have a choice: love or fear.

We can choose to live in the scarcity mindset that there isn't enough, or we can choose to see that there is abundance and opportunity. In times of uncertainty we can choose to worry about things that have a 99.9% chance of never happening, or we can choose to love ourselves, claim our self worth and find the source of powerful love within.

Because there is enough, we have enough and most importantly, we are enough. 

We are more than a job or a relationship. And it is because of who we are- beings of pure love- that we continue to attract what it is we need most.

Until soon,
Julie

We Are Creators

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit."
- Aristotle 

Each day I learn again and again through my experiences that we can literally shift how we feel by realizing our power to choose and in practicing intentional choice-making.

I've also learned that not choosing is also a choice, but in doing this we are just denying our expansion. Not claiming the power that is always within us.

We choose who we spend our time with, what opportunities we engage in and how we want to see the world.

Our choices each day cumulatively create our reality.

We choose  to affect our lives, rather than allow our circumstances to affect us.

We choose to make our happiness a priority- because we know that in doing this, we naturally overflow with love for the people around us. We are able to support others from a grounded place when we have cultivated our own ground first. We choose self care and self love.

We choose to ask for help and reach out. Because we know that we are on this planet together to help and inspire each other.

We choose to connect, to face our fears, to take risks, to quit things that are wasting our time and to free ourselves from the limiting stories, allowing for expansion, vision and growth.

We choose to let go of the need to assume and judge because we know that we cannot truly know an experience until we are physically experiencing it. We choose to live in the truth of what we are experiencing in this present moment.

We choose to listen to our bodies and our intuition as we create our lives. Our bodies know what feels good. This guidance system is infinitely powerful is guiding us to choose the experiences that energize us.

We choose to live in awareness and act from a profound place of courage.

And in realizing that our lives are a result of our choices, we are liberated because we realize we are infinitely powerful creators. We are the mapmakers of our path. The painters of a blank canvas given to us each day.

Blessings,
Julie

Focus: Why We need it and How we Get it

A simple, yet powerful truth that I have come to terms with in my life is this: all the results I've gotten, and goals I've reached, especially in the past two years, came through focus.

Focus creates energy. When we focus on our priorities, the things that only bring us happiness, our energy is streamlined and therefore results come our way more quickly. The unimportant naturally fades away.

The universe knows what to give us when we are clear on what we want. We become a much stronger point of attraction for that which we want when we are focused.

Focus creates expansion. It invites clarity and cultivates power. And abundance. What a paradox! But it's 100% true. Every time. Every experience in my life where I felt expansion is there to prove.

One of the most challenging things I've realized about focus is that it involves self trust. We must trust that we know what we need. Focus means creating boundaries on other people's expectations. It's impossible to please everyone and be 100% true to ourselves. This means tuning out the voices of negativity and consciously choosing what we take in.

Here are a few of the ways in which we can cultivate focus:

1 Inviting Challenge and Excitement

Boring routines that don't challenge us to grow are counterproductive. We each have a wackload of potential that is meant to be used. When this energy is stifled, our body feels stuck. This is why I've found challenge to be one of the key points in cultivating focus. When we are challenged to think in new ways, to call upon our inner resources, we feel alive. We are in "the zone", in "flow", you know what I mean. And we realize that our potential and capabilities are limitless.

We can cultivate challenge when we are spontaneous, when we take risks, when we face our fears. For example, booking a low budget trip that challenges us to move past our comfort zone.

We can cultivate challenge by inviting new experiences or by growing in our current environments. For example, communicating with our managers at work to explore new capacities and building skills in other areas of an organization. Asking for a promotion. The truth is that if we don't ask, the answer will always be no. "Ask and you shall receive." When we vocalize our needs and goals, we automatically are held accountable for our own happiness.

2 We are the People we Surround Ourselves With

One of the most important truths I've learned about relationships is that we owe it to ourselves to choose the people who bring the best in us. People who support our growth and hold us accountable for doing the things we want to do. Healthy relationships are energizing, authentic and supportive.

We simply cannot be around negative people and focus on positive growth at the same time. It doesn't work. Letting go of people who bring us down is one of the keys to being focused.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." We cannot change people. Trying to "make" people understand is a waste of time. But while we cannot change others, we can choose who we surround ourselves with.

3 Exercise and Wholesome Eating

Two days ago yet again proved to me how life-changing physically activity is. The way I felt before and after my run blew my mind. Pick an activity that makes you sweat, it doesn't matter what it is, and do it regularly. Physical activity makes us feel more calm, grounded, present and focused. And did I say amazing? Well, that too.

It's true, "we are what we eat". Eating regular wholesome meals and snacks, nutrient rich foods, simply feels good. The goal is not perfection, but to feel nourished and energized. From this point, we are far more focused, grounded and present in our work and relationships.

4 Travel and Taking Breaks

Booking a trip is a great way to reboot. To refocus. It gives a chance to come back to what we want, separate from the exceptions of the people around us. We are constantly surrounded by ideas of who we "should" be, when really, its simply about being who we are. By developing our individual gifts, we are able to offer something to the world that nobody else can. Another way to take a break is by disconnecting and unplugging. Facebook, Twitter, and our Smartphones can be used as great tools. Therefore, the key here is balance. Using these tools to our benefit, but also reminding ourselves to take time away from them. Why? Because our greatest tool is the knowledge we have in our hearts.

Letting go of "Busy" as a Status Symbol

I'll admit it. At times, I love being busy. I love the feeling of being engaged with the world. I feel a sense of inspired flow, connectedness and purpose. But then there are times when my body wants to slow down, when it demands self-care, compassion and patience- and I've waited to long. I held on to "busy" when it no longer fulfilled me.

Today I was able to slow down and come back to fulfillment. Two things I've learned about fulfillment: its connected to the heart and it happens in the moment. The process of coming to my heart required me to create space.

Unplanned time.

Time to let go and be still.

Time to look inwards mindfully: "What do I need right now?"

And when in the past the answer would involve planning and action, today it was about having the courage to slow down, be with my truth and honor stillness and space.

Busy is not unhealthy, in fact we can be thriving greatly when we are busy. But its when we become attached to busy that it can become toxic. When the intention is to be busy as a way of hustling for our self-worth, then we know its time to put the brakes. When busy becomes more about pleasing people and appearing put-together and accomplished than feeling good, then its time to let go.

I've finally realized that the only time "busy" is healthy is when my body is in full agreement.

It can be tough sometimes. Our society tends to value the accomplished, productive and extroverted. And while productivity can work in our favor, its actually productivity itself that demands rest. Downtime. Time alone.

Let's let go. Let go of the "shoulds" and the unnecessary pressure. Because while sometimes we love the rush, we also love the stillness. Let's let go of the need to please and do what feels good, give ourselves what we need, when we need it. Because at the end of the day, its all about how we feel. And whatever it is we choose to do, the intention behind the choice is what counts.


I'm sure I will be writing more about honoring the part of ourselves that revels in stillness and space. Until then, here's a quote that has always rung true for me.

"Create a life that feels good on the inside. Not one that just looks good on the outside."

xo,
Julie

What is Quality of Life?

Once I started experiencing the kind of life I want, I realized this: it is simply not possible to "unlearn" something we physically know. When know true happiness and fulfillment, when we know ourselves and the things that provide this physical experience for us, there is no going back.

Once we've tasted greatness, there is no more mediocrity.

It's happening. It's real. When my body came to know the experience of feeling truly present (mindfulness played a huge part in bringing me to a more connected place, one where I am in touch with the voice of my heart and the needs of my body), I realized that going back was simply not an option anymore.

A few things happened, leading me to quality of life.

I broke down and realized my life experience was not one of expansion and abundance but of limitation.

I met some incredible, inspiring people who I feel so blessed to have in my life. (And began practicing gratitude, and realizing how powerful it is as a means of further expanding the positive in our lives)

I began taking risks, going on adventures, cultivated a mindset of abundance and put my dreams into action.

Sounds simple right? Well it is simple, but I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge that there has been challenge.

And while there is challenge, we always do come back to the bliss.

Once we know where our energy and fulfillment comes from, our level of focus is what will determine the quality of our lives.

Are we able to say no to people to the environments, opportunities and people who are not adding to our happiness?

Of course.

And how do we stay focused in our decisions? By being aware and making more empowered choices.
"This is to say make more choices, and make more empowered ones."
- Danielle LaPorte

Our happiness really is cultivated through the choices we make each day- from who we choose to spend our energy on to the kind of work we engage in.

I also realized that not choosing is also a choice. The magic happened when I realized how inspiring, empowering and liberating it feels to take responsibility for my choices. Coming from a decisive, empowered  place in my life became less about making the perfect choice (it doesn't exist!), and more about practicing the art of choice-making and learning through this practice- in doing this we learn more about ourselves, what is working, what isn't and ultimately what we want more of.

Now I'll leave you with a question.  A friend of mine who is also an incredible role model and inspiration (you know who you are!) encapsulated  "Quality of Life" beautifully in one of our phone conversations. I was finding myself challenged with a certain part of my life. What I learned from this phone conversation really put things into perspective.

"If we want to live a high quality life, we need to ask ourselves high quality questions." When my friend said this, it clicked.

So I asked myself, "Is ____ incredible?" Immediately I found perspective, I realized what wasn't contributing to my happiness, and of course this naturally pushed me towards the necessary action that create change.

Fill in the blank with something in our lives that we are not sure is contributing to our happiness- a relationship, living situation, job, environment, plan- because when we ask high quality questions, the answers become simple.

And sometimes acknowledging how a situation is really making us feel is hard,but with the same token- I've realized that it is through acknowledging truth that we become aware, alive and propelled to take positive action.

Are you ready?

xo,
Julie

Reconnecting with the Heart

When I started writing this post, I found myself typing and retyping the first sentence multiple times. I didn't know where to start, trying to emphasize the importance of one thing without downplaying the other- this is balance.

Then I realized that its because I want to emphasize the importance of rest and reflection without devaluing the importance of structure and accomplishing our goals. The truth is that we need both. 

But often we give more respect to productivity and accomplishment during times when what we really need is time to recharge and reconnect with our heart. Soulcharge I call it- time we create in our lives to focus on filling our cup and recharging our soul, as well as the specific practices we do to make this happen- booking a trip, preparing a nourishing meal and many more.

Especially during the winter, the body needs more rest and care. Nourishment. Compassion and love. And we can tend to push ourselves. More than is healthy. And this pushing is really not even necessary I've found.

In the past few weeks, there were times when I felt quite burnout- I was focusing on work and giving to others more than I was giving to myself.

And then it clicked as I've learned again and again: it is only by taking time to love and care for ourselves that we can truly give to others. That we can give to others without compromising our energy. We are better able to help others because instead of our energy being forced, it is sustained, inspired and grounded.

And upon realizing the importance of this truth, I came back to my heart.

And then it came to me: mindfulness. Mindfulness changes the quality of our lives.

Its about getting back in touch with the present moment, our body and the breath. Its about present moment awareness and checking in with how we feel right now.

Overworking can create misalignment- our head gets ahead of our heart (Ironic, I know!) And when our head is ahead of our heart, we lose touch of the here and now. Mindfulness brings us back to the present moment where true fulfillment lies.

Where we realize that nothing really matters more than our health and happiness, that we live a life that is full of abundance, connection and nourishment. 

xo,
Julie