What is Our Sexual Energy?

Last week I wrote my first blog post on the topic of sexuality. It felt bold and also a conversation I think we need to have. Our sexuality is something to fully embrace, and really a part of our being.

I talked about how our sexuality is expansive and so much more than just sex.

I want to push this topic further and say that our sexuality is not only experienced with a partner, but more importantly within ourselves; and channeled in so many different ways. The more we can embrace the sexual energy within ourselves as a beautiful part of our ever-evolving presence in this world, the more we can navigate our lives from a point of awareness, giving and receiving in a way that supports our personal growth.

I've really come to believe that to think that our sexuality is only reserved for the bedroom is marbles! If its in us, its in us all the time.

It's passion, love and excitement. It's courage and compassion. It's understanding and exploration. It's our life force, our breath. I talk so much about how our sense of aliveness and presence is something we experience in our body. Its the same with our sexuality.
It's something we feel.
It's a sensation.
It's our happiness.
It's our freedom.
It's self expression and creative energy.

Passion, love and creativity are definitely forces that span our whole life experience and everything we do.

We can really feel empowered when we come to see sexuality in this perspective. Any sensual (relating to the senses) experience can be described as also being sexual. The excitement of travel, the enjoyment of good food, the feeling after a run, listening to beautiful music. Looking back at history, we really embraced our sexuality in art and life; people were very free with it. No shame! And now, porn exaggerates it and the media skews it, putting unnecessary pressures and ideas of what is right and wrong. The hookup culture speaks louder than ever in some ways that can truly fuck up self worth. Yet, sexuality is losing its respect and ability to grow.

Its such a multidimensional piece of our being and life experience. To embrace it means to allow it gentle space to complement love, passion and excitement, to fuel our ambition, and to feel it in every cell of our body within our own life and when sharing it with others. 

My purpose here is simply to create space for expansion and personal growth, to offer a different perspective than what we see in porn or in the media. That's it, simply. Exploring this topic has been an interest our mine, not to claim my view as right, but to offer a way of seeing our sexuality that doesn't involve comparison, judgement, preconceived notions or shame. 

We are not going to stop having sexual experiences, it's a part of life. Literally! But on our journey of growth and exploration, we can shift the way we see our sexuality so that it becomes a sacred part of our experience that we fully embrace in the name of worthiness, compassion and adventure.

What is Faith?

Tonight I write about faith.

The faith that takes pure courage and guts.

The faith we cultivate in moments of fear and uncertainty.

Often at work, I write down my ideas on tiny pieces of paper and keep them shoved in my pockets. Sometimes by the end of my shift, I end up with five beautiful pieces of paper, totally scribbled on with words of inspiration. The other day, I found myself jotting down my intuition-filled ideas about what faith really is.

Yes, "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." (Martin Luther King Jr.)

But faith is so much more.

It's believing in what has yet to happen and expecting the best. Even though it hasn't physically happened yet.

Its believing that the tide will turn, seasons will change and tough times don't last- when we allow ourselves to move through them with love and support.

Faith is having the courage to know our own strength, as individuals and more importantly when we come together. It's knowing that because we are here and we are alive, our whole life force is on our side. 

Faith says things like "You've always figured it out, its always made you stronger and there's all the evidence you need that you can handle whatever comes your way."

Faith is the courage to embrace uncertainty. To find gratitude and appreciation in what we have now, without allowing our story of what "might" happen, take our presence away from the here and now.

Faith is magic and mystery. And it is pure surrender. Because when we believe in ourselves and in the power of the universe to align with us and support our success and happiness, we can relax and be present.

We just know that everything will always be okay.

We realize that fear is just a story and that yes, we can have goals and plans, actions to take and results to aim for, but there is still uncertainty. And that is what makes life beautiful.

We need the adventure. As a matter of fact, we crave it.

The adventure also requires us to have faith. Radical, radical faith. Because in fully experiencing this adventure of life and following our heart and intuition, there are going to be uncertain times where we will just have to stop, breathe, and be exactly where we are, knowing that that is enough. We are enough right now. 

The most powerful truth is what we experience now, in our bodies, in this present moment of breathing and being alive. That is our greatest point of attraction and ground.

This is where faith starts, grows and never ends.

Sex Amplified: Our Expansive Sexuality

Let me ask you this:
What is your sexuality ignited?
What kind of person are you when you fully embrace your sexuality in every part of your body?

If we reflect on our answer to these questions, we are challenged to see the whole picture.

And I must say that the whole picture is so much more than just sex.

However, in today's hookup culture, sex is so easy and can be experienced in such a narrow way. Its not that there is a problem with just sex, but it explains a lot about  how we can miss the fulfillment, the adventure and the exploration. 

The more we get to experience life, we discover what we desire. With this knowledge, we must allow ourselves to explore from an intuitive place. We must listen to the spontaneous cues that come from our heart, where our desire lies. This takes courage, patience, trust and the willingness to embrace uncertainty. (For more tools to define your Desire, check out Danielle LaPorte's "The Desire Map") Highly recommend!

I talk about embracing uncertainty in other areas of our life and our sexuality is no different. We are sexual beings, here to connect. Yet, often we settle in unsatisfying relationships that suffocate our true sexuality.

If this is the limit, then we can practice the courage to let go of what is no longer serving our well being and growth. When it feels right, when there is alignment, this is the place to grow and explore.

Our true sexuality is pure love, its fire and its free. And we must be in a situation where we are free to express.

Its not possible to be settling in a relationship and find our sexual freedom at the same time.

What we need to do is throw away any ideas that originated from watching porn, connect with our intuition and explore without expectation or story. Just moving with what feels right, letting go of all the "shoulds."

This is the freest place to start. A place of intuitive knowing.

Our body is so much wiser than we often give it credit. It always tells us what we need, and it also knows how to express desire when we allow it. In allowing, we must let go of any preconceived notions and open up to the journey.

Pure, ecstatic freedom led by intuition.

What do you think?

Learning to Love the Discomfort: It's Part of Your Growth

A few days ago, I arrived back in Toronto from a life-changing trip in the states. I needed the travel, the challenge, the letting go, so I could open up and grow. Traveling always has its way of pushing me past my comfort zone to realize how much there is to experience in this world and how much this experience makes us grow. Amongst many others, travel is one way in which we are forced to open up to the world's abundance, and to the greatness that lies within us.

In the midst of my travels, I came to once again affirm the truth that when we open up to our greatness and experience personal growth, we will also experience discomfort. 

This is just an undeniable part of the equation.

Sometimes we attach judgement to experiencing discomfort because it also usually means uncertainty, moving through fear, embracing intensity and having a new experience.

And while these feelings can literally be the craziest, they are all good.

We need the challenge.
We need the discomfort.
We need it to grow.

Sometimes I'm resistant to fully acknowledge this universal law, but each life-expanding experience is there to remind me. Not necessarily of the discomfort, but of how much its played a part in my growth and success. 

Growth is one of the most beautiful things in life and we need to embrace and love the discomfort that both scares and excites us. Love it fiercely.

Because when we do, when we love the discomfort so passionately and without judgement, we are open to grow in all ways- in life experience, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually.

I've found this growth to happen in so many ways. It may mean we follow our passion to embrace our true sexuality and intimacy with those who we connect with, instead of just sex. Sex is easy, but our sexuality is expansive and demands exploration, creativity and courage. It demands respect and patience. Love and an open mind and heart.

Growth may mean finding faith in ourselves and in God or the universe, practicing prayer and learning to listen to our instinct and act upon it in fully fledged passionate trust.

Growth may mean ending a relationship that we are settling in.
Really ending it.
To really create that new space to invite passionate, crazy love that resonates and drives us to new levels. This kind of growth takes so much courage- I know because I've experienced it myself- but we learn to realize that we are whole within ourselves and that the passionate, crazy love is there waiting for us when we let go.

Because it so is.

And yes, it may seem like the greatest risk of all to let go, open up, trust and love the discomfort, but I can tell you this- whatever you do to push past your comfort zone (Travel included), whatever courageous decision or instinctive change you make- embracing the discomfort in the process will be the best part. 

Because in allowing us to grow and become pure love, how can it not be?

Blessings,
Julie

Love the Uncertainty: Its Part of Your Success

I've found that when we keep ourselves too busy, our schedules too packed, we can miss the space we need to connect with our heart, let go and become clear on what we want.

Sometimes we cover our feelings of uncertainty, fear and sadness- and ironically our joy as well- by always being on the go and making ourselves so busy that we don't have space to truly feel.

That's why I realized last week that sometimes we actually need to create this space, letting my manager know that I am less available to work.

I truly believe that the opportunities, connections and clarity naturally come into our life when we practice the courage of letting go. Letting go of work that doesn't excite us, or a relationship that we are settling in.

Letting go and creating space to heal, create, rest, explore and embrace uncertainty is one of my challenges- yet I've also found my greatest successes through learning to embrace the unknown. It's where we discover and grow.

Sometimes we fear that we'll miss out on opportunities if we do less.

But the truth is that we miss out on the opportunities when we are burnt out and too busy to be present for the magic.

Where do you need some space in your life?

 

Just Do What Feels Good. Amen.

Two days ago I celebrated my birthday, surrounded by love and the people I feel most connected to. I was and continue to feel utterly blessed to know such supportive, positive and inspiring souls. Thank you.

Part of me thought that I "should" throw a party to celebrate, which is definitely always an option. But sometimes my desires are more intimate and introverted. I love small gatherings and getting to really connect with the people around me. Good food and hugs. And yes, with the right people, I also love music and dancing and drinks.

What I've realized is that however our desire manifests, as long as it's nourishing, fulfilling and ultimately feels good, then we are exactly where we need to be.

When we care more about living that feels good on the inside rather than how it looks on the outside, the way we create and attract this life can manifest in so many ways.

When we are open to move with our intuition and embrace uncertainty, we find ourselves on the greatest adventure. The places we go to, people we meet and opportunities that come our way may now be what we originally planned or pictured for ourselves. But you know what? They may be a whole lot fucking better.

I've also realized that we have this whole blind spot. The things we don't know that we don't know. When we are open to embracing uncertainty and being vulnerable, this is when we discover these things- what we didn't even realize existed. Expanded life experience, expanded perception- bam!

Yes, it's great to plan. I am literally in love with my planner- it allows me to commit to what I want and hold myself accountable. However, there are times to allow ourselves some space before we make decisions. Space to check in and give ourselves permission to change our minds.

Time to cancel commitments. Time to reschedule. To say no to what we thought we wanted but realized is not soul food.

This is freedom. 

Life around us is constantly in flow and changing. Sometimes I've resisted these shifts, especially when it means that I need to take a look at my life and take a different route. What I learn though, is that those shifts are exactly the signs we need to follow our intuition and grow into who we are meant to be.

We can often be so attached to the need for certainty. When things change and shift, we resist it. But we also know that when we surrender to our intuition, magic happens.

That voice from inside that speaks so clearly when we are present and open. It comes from our heart that pumps blood through our body, where we feel alive. Over thinking and over planning often takes us away from this powerful sense.

So next time we feel a shift, a spark of intuition- even if it means we are not certain- let's follow that impulse.

Just because it feels good.

Faith over Fear

We all have those quiet, desperate moments where everything just falls apart. Where we feel the fear of uncertainty and intense doubt.

What if?

We might ask ourselves this question when we feel consumed by our fear. We are hungry for answers and when there is blank space, sometimes we feel that it must mean bad. That because we cannot see our life perfectly laid out right now, then something must be wrong. What if I've failed? What if this isn't working?

We somehow forget that just because we cannot see the thing we desire in front of our eyes in this moment, it doesn't mean it wont happen. Sometimes there are lessons to be learned and a journey to be had before we reach those milestones. Because usually its about what we learn in between the milestones that makes us who we are.

Stronger.
Wiser.

So in those desperate moments we can learn to surrender. To be ourselves. To love our sadness and anger and failure just the same as we love our joy and successes.

"The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it."
- Brene Brown

We find our courage and strength through those dark moments of uncertainty when we choose to surrender. Because sometimes the truth comes up when we let go. When we take a step into our light through embracing the darkness. When we embrace every fucking feeling and love it.

Make love to it actually.

Faith is being in fear and doubt and knowing that there is always a way. And we don't need to be superheroes to find it.

Actually we can fall apart. We can breakdown. We can quit. We can change our minds. We can start again. We can go out and try and succeed or fail and it doesn't diminish our worth. It actually further emphasizes how unconditionally worthy we are. We can own every part, come together in those desperate moments and know that it is in being human that we find ourselves.