Learning to Love the Discomfort: It's Part of Your Growth

A few days ago, I arrived back in Toronto from a life-changing trip in the states. I needed the travel, the challenge, the letting go, so I could open up and grow. Traveling always has its way of pushing me past my comfort zone to realize how much there is to experience in this world and how much this experience makes us grow. Amongst many others, travel is one way in which we are forced to open up to the world's abundance, and to the greatness that lies within us.

In the midst of my travels, I came to once again affirm the truth that when we open up to our greatness and experience personal growth, we will also experience discomfort. 

This is just an undeniable part of the equation.

Sometimes we attach judgement to experiencing discomfort because it also usually means uncertainty, moving through fear, embracing intensity and having a new experience.

And while these feelings can literally be the craziest, they are all good.

We need the challenge.
We need the discomfort.
We need it to grow.

Sometimes I'm resistant to fully acknowledge this universal law, but each life-expanding experience is there to remind me. Not necessarily of the discomfort, but of how much its played a part in my growth and success. 

Growth is one of the most beautiful things in life and we need to embrace and love the discomfort that both scares and excites us. Love it fiercely.

Because when we do, when we love the discomfort so passionately and without judgement, we are open to grow in all ways- in life experience, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually.

I've found this growth to happen in so many ways. It may mean we follow our passion to embrace our true sexuality and intimacy with those who we connect with, instead of just sex. Sex is easy, but our sexuality is expansive and demands exploration, creativity and courage. It demands respect and patience. Love and an open mind and heart.

Growth may mean finding faith in ourselves and in God or the universe, practicing prayer and learning to listen to our instinct and act upon it in fully fledged passionate trust.

Growth may mean ending a relationship that we are settling in.
Really ending it.
To really create that new space to invite passionate, crazy love that resonates and drives us to new levels. This kind of growth takes so much courage- I know because I've experienced it myself- but we learn to realize that we are whole within ourselves and that the passionate, crazy love is there waiting for us when we let go.

Because it so is.

And yes, it may seem like the greatest risk of all to let go, open up, trust and love the discomfort, but I can tell you this- whatever you do to push past your comfort zone (Travel included), whatever courageous decision or instinctive change you make- embracing the discomfort in the process will be the best part. 

Because in allowing us to grow and become pure love, how can it not be?

Blessings,
Julie

Love the Uncertainty: Its Part of Your Success

I've found that when we keep ourselves too busy, our schedules too packed, we can miss the space we need to connect with our heart, let go and become clear on what we want.

Sometimes we cover our feelings of uncertainty, fear and sadness- and ironically our joy as well- by always being on the go and making ourselves so busy that we don't have space to truly feel.

That's why I realized last week that sometimes we actually need to create this space, letting my manager know that I am less available to work.

I truly believe that the opportunities, connections and clarity naturally come into our life when we practice the courage of letting go. Letting go of work that doesn't excite us, or a relationship that we are settling in.

Letting go and creating space to heal, create, rest, explore and embrace uncertainty is one of my challenges- yet I've also found my greatest successes through learning to embrace the unknown. It's where we discover and grow.

Sometimes we fear that we'll miss out on opportunities if we do less.

But the truth is that we miss out on the opportunities when we are burnt out and too busy to be present for the magic.

Where do you need some space in your life?

 

Just Do What Feels Good. Amen.

Two days ago I celebrated my birthday, surrounded by love and the people I feel most connected to. I was and continue to feel utterly blessed to know such supportive, positive and inspiring souls. Thank you.

Part of me thought that I "should" throw a party to celebrate, which is definitely always an option. But sometimes my desires are more intimate and introverted. I love small gatherings and getting to really connect with the people around me. Good food and hugs. And yes, with the right people, I also love music and dancing and drinks.

What I've realized is that however our desire manifests, as long as it's nourishing, fulfilling and ultimately feels good, then we are exactly where we need to be.

When we care more about living that feels good on the inside rather than how it looks on the outside, the way we create and attract this life can manifest in so many ways.

When we are open to move with our intuition and embrace uncertainty, we find ourselves on the greatest adventure. The places we go to, people we meet and opportunities that come our way may now be what we originally planned or pictured for ourselves. But you know what? They may be a whole lot fucking better.

I've also realized that we have this whole blind spot. The things we don't know that we don't know. When we are open to embracing uncertainty and being vulnerable, this is when we discover these things- what we didn't even realize existed. Expanded life experience, expanded perception- bam!

Yes, it's great to plan. I am literally in love with my planner- it allows me to commit to what I want and hold myself accountable. However, there are times to allow ourselves some space before we make decisions. Space to check in and give ourselves permission to change our minds.

Time to cancel commitments. Time to reschedule. To say no to what we thought we wanted but realized is not soul food.

This is freedom. 

Life around us is constantly in flow and changing. Sometimes I've resisted these shifts, especially when it means that I need to take a look at my life and take a different route. What I learn though, is that those shifts are exactly the signs we need to follow our intuition and grow into who we are meant to be.

We can often be so attached to the need for certainty. When things change and shift, we resist it. But we also know that when we surrender to our intuition, magic happens.

That voice from inside that speaks so clearly when we are present and open. It comes from our heart that pumps blood through our body, where we feel alive. Over thinking and over planning often takes us away from this powerful sense.

So next time we feel a shift, a spark of intuition- even if it means we are not certain- let's follow that impulse.

Just because it feels good.

Faith over Fear

We all have those quiet, desperate moments where everything just falls apart. Where we feel the fear of uncertainty and intense doubt.

What if?

We might ask ourselves this question when we feel consumed by our fear. We are hungry for answers and when there is blank space, sometimes we feel that it must mean bad. That because we cannot see our life perfectly laid out right now, then something must be wrong. What if I've failed? What if this isn't working?

We somehow forget that just because we cannot see the thing we desire in front of our eyes in this moment, it doesn't mean it wont happen. Sometimes there are lessons to be learned and a journey to be had before we reach those milestones. Because usually its about what we learn in between the milestones that makes us who we are.

Stronger.
Wiser.

So in those desperate moments we can learn to surrender. To be ourselves. To love our sadness and anger and failure just the same as we love our joy and successes.

"The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it."
- Brene Brown

We find our courage and strength through those dark moments of uncertainty when we choose to surrender. Because sometimes the truth comes up when we let go. When we take a step into our light through embracing the darkness. When we embrace every fucking feeling and love it.

Make love to it actually.

Faith is being in fear and doubt and knowing that there is always a way. And we don't need to be superheroes to find it.

Actually we can fall apart. We can breakdown. We can quit. We can change our minds. We can start again. We can go out and try and succeed or fail and it doesn't diminish our worth. It actually further emphasizes how unconditionally worthy we are. We can own every part, come together in those desperate moments and know that it is in being human that we find ourselves.

On Being A Mess and Loving It All

There are times to take action, and times to rest.
There is a time to be with people, and time to be alone. Time to share the bed and time to have it to ourselves.
There is a time to travel and time to be exactly where we are with exactly how we feel.

And amidst all of these waves we find our lives, sometimes totally in synch and in balance and sometimes a total mess. One of the best realizations I've had is that there's really no difference between the two.

True balance is found within ourselves. It is trusting ourselves through the chaos and mess. It is embracing and loving it all, especially when we are falling apart.

There are times to laugh and times to cry. There is a time to move and a time to be still, to listen to the voice within and stop everything that's happening around us.

Even if just for a moment.

So perhaps balance is really a perspective. Maybe where we really find balance is through being exactly where we are and loving it. Loving it so much that no matter what we are experiencing, there is love. Through both the dark moments and the ones filled with radiating light.

"The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It's our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows."- Brené Brown

Because it is in the darkness we find light, in the chaos we find clarity and in the pain that we find love. And it is in being human that we find ourselves- enough and whole as we are right now.

Sometimes we expect ourselves to have it together all the time. Well, what if we don't? What if we experience the journey and celebrate the clarity we find, but also celebrate those terrifying uncertain moments where we just don't fucking know.

We don't need to figure it all out in that moment or pretend to be some superhero. For that moment, we embrace the mess and really love it.

Because "this too, shall pass."

Facing Fear to Grow Stronger

Recently, I just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I went Skydiving.

Yes, Skydiving! 

This is something I've been wanting to do for years and what meant far more than a check mark on a bucket list to me. It was about confronting and overcoming my fear, expanding my perception and allowing myself to experience life fully.

I feel that we are given this life to live it to the fullest. The purpose of our goals is serve our greatness- to provide focus and direction in our becoming our strongest selves. The goals we have that allow us to tackle our fears have, for me, been the most fulfilling, eye-opening and exhilarating ones. Every fear I've faced including Skydiving and so many more, have made me a stronger, more authentic and present being.

It's the act of facing fear that makes us fearless.

Take a moment to think about what you fear. Is it traveling? Being alone? Being vulnerable? Heights? Showing your true self? Letting yourself be happy and free from the opinions of others? Imperfection? Fear of failure? Letting go? You name it.

We all feel fear and fear will always play a part in our lives. What I've realized, however, is that it's not about trying to get rid of fear. It's about moving with it and riding the waves, feeling the fear and doing what we want anyway. We do this by literally becoming aware of where fear plays a part in our lives and taking the steps to do the thing we fear.

Without stepping outside of my comfort zone, not only do I not feel that my sense of aliveness and expansion is diminished, but I wouldn't be writing this post.

Time and time again I realize this:

It is our experiences that allow us to grow into our greatest selves and cultivate our gifts so that we can share them with others.

Yes, facing fear requires awareness and courage, but it is always worth it. We realize how powerful we truly are, and most important, that our stories, assumptions and "what if's" do not need to define our decisions and actions.

We feel the fear, and we do what we want anyway.

Of course it's important to prepare and weigh out the pros and cons of a decision, but let's not hesitate too long. Because life waits for us in its abundance each day. Let's not hesitate too long, because there are places to go, people to meet, love to give and receive and experiences to be had. There are failures and successes to be made, ups and downs and everything in between.

And in all of this, there is life. There is the beautiful, imperfect experience of life to be a part of when we face our fear to become all that we are capable of being.

I want to leave you with an inspiring quote I read the other day by Erin Hanson that really put things into perspective for me. It goes like this,

"What If I fail?"

"Oh but my darling, what if you fly?"

Get Naked.

Take off your clothes.
All of them.
Allow yourself to cry.
Let go.
Be wierd.
Silly.
Vulnerable.

Getting naked means so many things to me. There's getting naked in our body and there's also getting naked with our soul, our heart.

When we choose to get naked, we choose to open up to our truth, to feel fully and embrace each experience wholeheartedly. 

We choose to be full a full expression of who we really are. To show up and allow ourselves to be seen.

I write and talk a lot about embracing our true selves emotionally, allowing ourselves to feel and listening to our heart.

Feeling is also in the body. Our emotion is not only felt in our heart, but throughout our whole body. 

Our body is the real vehicle we use to move through our lives. And I have found that a huge part of becoming comfortable in it is through practicing self care and self love, and learning to see our beauty.

We are here to celebrate our bodies, to celebrate every curve and inch of skin.

We are here to come alive- through self care and the way we treat ourselves and through the intimacy we share and express with others.

When we become comfortable in our own skin, when we do the things that feel good- we move past judgement and embrace imperfection. We are naturally so much more comfortable and expressive with others when we love ourselves. Unconditionally. In all our raw, naked and imperfect beauty.

When we focus less on the external and more on how we feel inside, in our own skin, we really come alive. One thing that happened when I grew up was that I realized that trying to be perfect, to compare, to self judge and to strive to look a certain way for other people, is completely opposite to what what we do when we stop judging and start listening with self love.

You know what the self love record says? It says that we focus first on feeling good, on embracing our bodies and honoring them- for ourselves first. We let go of self judgement, of the stories that don't serve and then we share our love with the people who celebrate us for who we are.

Blessings,
Julie