Ignite the Free Spirit/Crazy in You!

 

I believe that we all have a crazy part of ourselves that doesn't reveal itself often enough. Our world of rules and expectations makes it hard to get into our "optimal freedom zone". We are worried about what others think about us, we are scared to be unique- to do things because we simply feel like it. Everything has to make sense, has to be rationalized. But what if you just did something based on your intuition? What if you say what you really want to say and do what you really want to do? Well then, you would feel unbelievably free!


We are given a precious life with limitless opportunity to feel emotion and follow our passion. It is important to connect with what we want and not pay attention to people who tell us otherwise.


So this is my challenge to you: explore.

And by explore I mean really look into yourself and see what it is that you want. Take a pen and paper right now and write down a few of the things that you really enjoy doing, things that bring you happiness- they could be small things or big things- remember, value can be found in many of the simple things in life. 

Now you have a base, a place to start from. Do those things. Today.

And at the same time, be open to experience more of the things that you think would excite you- that would make you want to wake up in the morning. Take another piece of paper and write down those things that you simply haven't done, or are too scared to do. Now go out and do them! And if they are big things, remember that consistency is key- so small achievements every day lead to massive outcomes.

Often we get caught in "thinking" about what we should do, rather than "feeling" what we want to do. We listen to others' opinions and try to find reassurance that what we want to do is going to be the "right" thing. And this can be counter-productive.

So in this case, just be spontaneous. Don't give yourself too much time to think. Just do. Trust me, the fears are just fears. Because when we actually do what we want, we realize that what we feared is rarely true. 

Break the barriers, push the limits, talk to a stranger, write a book, attend an event, plan a trip, do something just because you feel like it- whatever this may be.

Blessings,

Julie

Live Richly Without Being Rich

Sometimes we forget that the little things in life mean a lot. We too often forget that its those simple things that can bring us an incredible sense of fulfillment and pleasure. Yes, intense pleasure. Of course it is important to have a long-term plan in life, to have goals. It is important to figure out the big stuff like where we want to live, what career we want to have, what kind of partner we want to be with and so on. But, at the same time that we patiently work towards achieving our dreams and success, there is nothing stopping us from enjoying the simple things. We have access to experiencing these simple pleasures right now. It is simply a matter of choice.
We don't need money, or very little of it to experience these simple things.

- a warm coffee or tea in a cozy shop
- a sunset or sunrise
- the company of a good friend
- a walk in nature
- a warm bath
- an organized and refreshed room
- a good song
- smelling a flower

And many, many more. You can continue the list. 

So why do so many of us forget to take the time to do these things? Because they are so simple and small that we forget how important they are. Yes, it is easy to do them. But it is also easy not to do them. 

That is why we have to use our awareness to realize that they are important. Until we are actually experiencing them, we often forget the pleasure they bring.

So all it takes is a conscious mindset that abundance is not only in the big things, but in the little things as well.

And very often, at the end of the day, we realize that what we thought were the little things are actually the big things. 

There is so much value in taking the time to refine the quality of our life experience by simply reminding ourselves to do the small things every day.

Sometimes I get so caught up in trying to figure out my life's purpose and making big goals and decisions that I forget that happiness is something that can be fully experienced today. Now, as a matter of fact. Yes, achieving the big things that we want brings much happiness, but it is the process of getting to those big things that is truly fulfilling. And the process involves finding those little moments in life, and cherishing them. Taking the ordinary and making it extraordinary. This is an art and it deserves to be mastered.

Blessings,

Julie

Getting Addicted to True Happiness

The path to happiness is not always straight, but it is worthwhile. Since happiness is different to each person, it is not something that we can achieve by following a set of instructions on how we "should" live our lives. Nobody can tell us exactly what it is that makes each of us excited, what ignites our spark. You are the one who knows yourself the best, because you are the only one experiencing your life. 

 Along the path of true happiness, there are two things we must always remind ourselves of:

1 There is absolutely no need to please anyone else because the people that have your best interest at heart will want you to do what makes you happy

2 Nobody can define your happiness and wants in life better than you. Yes, we need some life experience to see what it is that we want and don't want. Yes, we will need guidance of people who can teach us a lot. But in the end, we must take what feels true and real from each of the inspiring people or resources in our lives and create our own unique belief system that defines the choices we make for our happiness. It is important to make the choice that feels right to YOU.

A very powerful thing I've learned on my own happiness journey is the value of experience.  It takes experience of happiness to truly believe in it. That is why the fight is hardest at the beginning. But once we know what we are fighting for, once we know the exhilarating and liberating feeling, there is no going back.

At the beginning of my journey,  experience hadn't yet stepped into my life and body to show me what I was fighting for.  In the beginning it was hard to believe because I didn't yet know what it feels like to be around positive and inspiring people, to make choices from the heart, to follow my intuition and to feel truly happy. But now I know. And that is why, no matter what anyone else says, you should follow what you believe is possible.

 I started becoming conscious of my choices about three years ago. That was when I started asking myself every time, "Is this choice going to make me happy?" and "Is this person someone I feel good around?" At the beginning it was hard. It was very hard. You know why? Because I was concerned with pleasing people, I was concerned with doing what I "should" do rather than what I really wanted. But with time, I came to know and experience the life I truly want and now I am addicted. 
 I want to share my addiction with you! 

You should never settle for less. Dreams start in the heart, they start inside. We imagine them. But with focus and a sound belief in ourselves, we have it all in us to create them, to make them real and to share them with others.

 Blessings,

Julie

Who are Your Friends? (+ my story)

There was a time in my life when I didn't have real friends. When I didn't know what it feels like to have people in your life who genuinely care for your well-being and happiness. I didn't know what it feels like to have people in my life who support me no matter what, who I can trust to be there when I need them.
A few years ago I had friends and many of them, but these relationships were superficial- most of these people are no longer in my life now because I realized that they weren't the positive, inspiring and supportive connections I want in my life.

When I realized this, I spent a period of time feeling lonely. I wasn't going to settle for meaningless relationships. And then, slowly but surely, I searched to find people who shared my values, people who I still have in my life. Until you know what you can experience by actually experiencing it, it is hard to convince ourselves that what we want is out there. But let me tell you, it is! And sometimes this means setting limits on the "toxic" relationships in our lives, to create space for meaningful ones. Now I know what it feels like to have people who you truly feel connected to and people who genuinely care.

It is important to never settle for less than what we deserve. If we are investing our effort and dedication into relationships, we must spend our time with dedicated people.

And how do you know if a relationship is meaningful? You will know that a person is positively impacting your life when after you spend time with them, you feel energized and free to be who YOU are. Real friends don't expect you to be anyone else other than your true self.

One thing I learned about finding real friends is that they don't just simply appear. Waiting for the perfect friend might keep you waiting forever. We need to consciously go out and do what we love, follow our passion and immerse ourselves in the environments that we want to be in. When we follow our passion, we attract passionate people.

Another thing I've learned about creating meaningful relationships is that after we meet those people who we "click" with, it is our responsibility to show that we care. Simply said, be the friend that you want to have.

When I realized how blessed I am to have meaningful relationships in my life, I make sure to let those people know how much I care about them. 

Blessings,

Julie

When You Feel Like Giving Up

So things didn't go as you planned. Life's unexpected ways have crept into your life and you don't know what to do anymore. You thought you had it all figured out until something happens and you need to learn how to do things differently. Things are changing. You step into uncertainty, struggling to keep your balance.

Someone once told me that we can't have happiness without sadness. It took me a while to accept this. To see that there is a certain life cycle that we must embrace. I had to watch this cycle run its course a few times before realizing that we are human beings meant to experience many different emotions. And yes, some are painful. 

But also, I realized something else. We can experience a difficult emotion like sadness at different points in our lives, but sometimes we suffer more. Why do we suffer more sometimes? Because we resist the experience. We ignore the emotion and expect ourselves to go on being happy 100% of the time.

Removing this resistance and allowing ourselves to feel and express what is present, makes the whole experience of any emotion very different. We don't feel stuck, we are going with the flow and allowing the natural process to take place. Difficult emotions run their course and then make room for happiness.

At any point in our lives, we can find freedom- even during hard times of change and loss, where we lose our energy and feel like giving up.

Of course, it is easier to feel free when we are happy. But we can also become free with uncomfortable emotion by letting go of our resistance to it and reminding ourselves of a few important things:

1 Each and every one of us experiences both ups and downs in our life, we are never alone

2 There is no "right" way to be, the realest we feel is when we are present to what is

3  Let go of the guilt tied to expressing uncomfortable emotions- there is nothing "bad" about allowing yourself to be human, whatever the emotion is

And remember, the tide always comes back, hard times eventually pass and leave us with more strength and knowledge than we would have ever imagined.

Blessings,

Julie

Take Some Time to Let Loose!

As we grow older and the responsibilities in our lives pile up, we sometimes forget to simply play. To be silly and thoughtless. Even though I am a firm believer in setting goals and planning for the future, I also think its important to savor the moment. Savoring the moment means being spontaneous and listening to our inner voice that sometimes just wants to be a kid and play. It is important to make conscious decisions and take consistent actions towards our goals, but doing this ALL the time can become exhausting. The truth is that we need everything- we need to do things that bring meaning and purpose into our lives as well as doing the things just for the sake of doing them- because we can and because we feel like doing them in the moment. All of this can be summed up in one word- balance. Here are some of the specific ways in which we can add some playtime into our daily lives and achieve balance:

1 Laugh 45 minutes every day!

As I think about the importance of daily laughter, I think back to my first blog post, "The Power of Laughter".(http://breathingeverymoment.blogspot.ca/2012/05/day-without-laughter-is-day-wasted.html) Now I realize why I felt so inclined to write my first post about laughter- it is a powerful and life-changing thing. The benefits of laughter are strikingly similar to those of a daily workout- more energy, a more positive outlook on life, increased confidence and creativity and a stronger core. So read some jokes, make ridiculous facial expressions, freak people out as you question your sanity and spend time with people who make you laugh and realize that life doesn't have to be taken so seriously!

2 Be Mindless

Being mindless means giving our over-active brains a break. Remember when someone told you to "just lose yourself" in the music? Well this phrase refers to just that. Our rational minds help us make sense of things, but great things are also realized through connecting to our hearts.  We often doubt the voice of the heart, that tells us to do things that we feel like doing. We want to reason our actions before they are done, but let me tell you, sometimes we realize why we did what we did after. And sometimes there doesn't need to be a reason- let yourself play simply because it feels good! 

 Run around your house naked, listen to an upbeat song and let your body go wild (I love Scatman, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cnQCk0u49w), call a friend to simply hear their voice and ask them about their day, send a dirty text to someone you like, play an instrument, sing a song, plan a last minute trip, bang some pots and pans, dress up, waste some money, take a bubble bath, cry about something that has been eating away at your soul and release that emotion once and for all, buy an instrument and play it, grow your hair, cut your hair, have sex, paint something, scream- the list goes on.

3 Don't be so hard on yourself!

Give yourself a chance to be imperfect and make mistakes.  Give yourself permission to not try so hard, to let go of the person you think you "should" be. Wear red pants, talk to strangers, eat some cake, watch a stupid movie, slouch, kick your feet up- whatever  your version of "imperfect" is. Allow yourself to be silly and let go of doing everything "the right way" all the time. And for the record, there is not "right" way to do things- this is your life and you decide what is right for YOU.

Blessings,

Julie

Fucking Fear.

What is the biggest thing that holds us back from following our heart and doing what we feel? Fear. Fear of failing, fear of looking foolish, fear of others' opinions. Most of the time, the fears that hold us back are not life-threatening, yet they still hold us back. We are so concerned with what might go wrong or what others will think of us that we hold back on a lot of actions. We spend more time in our heads, rationalizing and analyzing than doing the things that we truly want.

Before I continue with this blog, consider this question:

What do you really want?

Not what others want from you or what you think you "should" do. What do you really want?

Knowing what you want can start with small things. And as you focus on the little things you want in each in your life, they become big things, goals, passions. Knowing what you want starts with an awareness of your life experiences. After every experience, ask yourself if it brought you happiness, ignited an inner spark or provided you with new insight or information. If it did, then make it something that you want or would like to create more of in your life. And if it didn't, then learn from the experience and let it go. Move on.

The more we experience, the more we learn and the more we define what it is that we want. (or what brings us happiness, we all want to do what makes up happy right?)  Conscious Experience not only exposes us to the things that add to our list of things that we want, but it also pushes us past our limits. We learn that we are more capable and powerful than we previously thought.

Usually we have an idea of the kinds of things we might like to try. Yet we never actually pursue them because we are not sure. Well let me tell you something: you won't know what you like for sure until you actually experience it! And this is where facing fear comes into place.

We are so fearful of "what might happen" but really, our fears are just fears. The things we fear rarely happen.

Over the past few years I have developed the "so what" philosophy. Saying "so what?" is a way of challenging our fears and showing ourselves that it is never as bad as we think it is. Here are the "so whats" I tell myself in the face of fear. Beside each question you will find a response/affirmation of what will actually happen in each case.

1 So what if I fail or make a mistake?  I will learn and know what to do better next time. There is nothing bad about making a mistake. The most successful people are not afraid of failing.

2 So what if I look foolish? What I look like is not important. This is my life and doing what makes me happy is the most important thing. The people who support me aren't concerned with appearances.

3 So what if other people judge me? Yes, there will be people who don't see what you see, who don't understand you. But then again, there are people who do, and support you in following your passion. Who cares about the others!

So this is my proposition to you. Face your fears and take risks. Experience life with awareness and as you define your wants and sources of happiness. Find people who support you on your journey and let go of the people who don't. And learn- there is more to gain than lose. 

Blessings,

Julie